I haven't updated my adoption schtuff for awhile....actually have been kinda ignoring it...but a recent assignment from my personal coach has pretty much revived my search so I've gone through and assembled everything I know. If you have any information or may have any ideas, please feel free to email me, leave a comment of call the numbers at the end.
Details of my adoption story and search:
I have already jumped through all the hoops with Montgomery County Social Services in Maryland’s Adoption Reunion program. I had a Confidential Intermediary and she has found and spoken to both b-parents...b-mom/natural mom/first mom said she understood my interest, would answer any questions I had and would re-connect but neither has re-contacted my CI (she found them about 4 years ago) and CI said she was not permitted to contact them anymore. I asked CI if I could write a letter, send it to her and then if she would mail it to b-parents. CI said she's not permitted to do that and claims she checked with their "legal people" and they said that she is not allowed to. So, there it ended. In my registration with the Maryland program, I had to write a letter to my b-parents and I did. I do not know if they ever received it.
- DOB: February 29, 1968 (Leap Day Baby!)
- Place: Washington, DC
- Original "Amended" Birth Certificate No. 68 4224
- I requested a "new" birth Certificate several years ago and it came back with a 108- in front of the above number.
Date filed: March 7, 1968.
"New" amended birth certificate also has a handwritten number on it at the top center....02292452...the first 4 numbers match my birthdate.
- amended birth certificate lists Paul H. Rubens as delivering doctor (not specifically noted as an M.D. after his name so may not be an doctor)...born at 7:24am
- no hospital listing on amended birth certificate...search angel believes that I was most likely then born in a maternity home...we’re thinking it was the Florence Crittenton Home of DC...this is an educated “hunch” though...not definite
- was in foster care with Annie & Dick (real name George) Carrico for 8 months following birth...I found and met them through a mutual friend of my a-parents...Annie has since passed away...they had sold Watkins Products for several years
- foster care code name "Tate"...Annie & Dick called me "Georgie"
- my parents are very supportive of my search and have given me everything they have as far as documents and information. My mom was literally stunned when I told her I wasn’t permitted to my view my original records. She said, “I was told by the adoption agency when we got you that once you reached 18 years old you could get all of your information.” (ugh...)
- adopted through Maryland Department of Social Services
- Lawyer who handled adoption for my a-parents was Dale L. Button....7424 Wisconsin Ave. Bethesda, MD 20014 Ph: 652-4678 (info in 1968)
- The final adoption decree is dated May 28, 1969. Proceedings were in the Circuit Court for Montgomery County, Maryland. Adoption Equity No. 4457
- Confidential intermediary - Helen Clark, Social Worker with Montgomery Co.
- b-parents were 17 at the time...would place them around 57 years old now.
- bmom recently went thru a divorce...she knows at least my first name (CI told her)
- bmom has another son (my half brother)...unsure of age
- Helen (CI) thought bmom was in mortuary business (no idea why)
- bmom is NOT on East coast
- bdad IS on East coast but not in VA, MD, DC or PA
- I registered with ISRR on Aug 4, 1997
- I asked CI about the code name “Tate” and she said she didn't know but that the last name was not Tate. She said that she would answer questions for me if I asked the “right ones” but that she couldn't offer any info....for example, if I called and asked if my bmom's name was "blank" she would say yes or no. But, my records are now "resealed" as she put it.
- I have no intentions of intruding or interrupting someone's life. I have a life...I have a mom and dad. But, as any adoptee knows, I just want to know and would like to finally have those "roots."
- My gut feeling is that my bmom is merely scared. And I know in my heart that if I could break through just a small break, that I could take away that fear. I tried telling my CI this....didn't help. Helen, my CI, is someone who punches a time clock...not someone who really cares about the job she has.
- My CI said that when she told my bmom that she had found my bdad, bmom said "Wow, that's surprising. I can't believe you found him." My CI spoke to my bdad on 2 occasions and both times he stated that he "couldn't speak right now and that he would call her back when he could." He never has.
- A very good friend and search angel believes there may be a small loophole in my search. We did not know of any birth siblings until my CI first spoke to my b-mom. We now know I have a half brother. We believe that the search program allows for contact of “any” birth relatives. I was not given the option to contact my half brother and have a call into Social Services to request this. Although we do not know his age, I am taking a shot to see what may come from this.
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Non-ID information:
(this info was sent to me March 30, 1995...the first time I registered with Maryland and they had an intern named Becky McLaughlin send me this)
The birth delivery was full term, low forceps, without difficulty, although you cried after one minute, resuscitation needed. You weighed 6 lbs., 12.5 oz, measured 19 inches in length, head measured 14 1/4, chest measured 11 1/4, and had an APGAR of 6/9. A PKU was administered with negative results.
The birth mother's medical condition is reported as occasionally hay fever, otherwise in good health. she was a white, American Protestant with blue/gray eyes, red hair, fair skin with freckles. she was 4'11'' in height and 97 pounds in weight. The putative father's medical condition was reported as in good health. He was a white, American mormon with brown eyes, brown hair, and fair skin. He was 5'9” in height and 165 pounds in weight. Other information about the maternal and paternal extended family is as follows:
The birth mother's mother had high blood pressure. She was a white American.
The birth mother's father's medical history states he had a ruptured disc, unknown problems with tingling in his hands, experienced hay fever, and a laminectomy. He was a white American.
The birth father's mother was a white American. No medical history given.
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A-parents are: Barbara C. and Melvin P. Thomas, Jr.
Address of my a-parents at the time of adoption was:
3520 Farthing Drive
Wheaton, MD
My mom gave me everything she had. She had a handwritten note from when she received the call about me. It has the following info:
Washington DC born....lists birth info (weight, length) and bmom and bdad weight/height...age of both was 17 years old......next to bmom has 1 of 4 children...next to bdad info has 1 of 8
Other tidbits:
- I'm 39, married, with 2 sons and a german shepherd. Our pediatrician told us that the chances of us getting a girl were incredibly slim since the genes on my side are so strong. My boys are true "mini-me's". Which tells me my b-dad is quite likely the same.
- I have been a stay-at-home dad for 10 years.
- My occupation is musician/writer (drums/percussion being my main instrument)
- I studied sound recording technology and music performance in college
- I spent 3 years in therapy trying to figure everything out
- I have been practicing Iyengar Yoga for 7 years
- I've read many of the adoption books. Adoption Healing is the book that made me realize I needed therapy.
- I have been a member of the AIML list probably since it started since I've been on the internet since before it was the web. I was at one time a member of Bastard Nation. I am currently a board member of Adoption Forum, Inc. (http://www.adoptionforum.org) but will most likely be stepping down soon. I am also a co-founder of Honesty In Adoption (http://www.honestyinadoption.org).
My current contact info is:
Kevin Brent Thomas
490 Honey Creek Road
Reedsville, PA 17084
ph: 717-667-9726
cell: 717-994-6380
e: kevin@kevinthomas.org
web: http://kevinthomas.org
blog: http://kevin229.blogspot.com/
I also write a blog for Mifflin County Living http://mifflincountyliving.com/wordpress/
Updated - Aug. 26, 2007.
"Perspective is everything"
About Me
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4 comments:
Kevin I'm holding out a good thought for you
Thank you.
I must admit that I do not read everyone's blogs out there but I did notice your timeline. I wish only the best for you too. If I may be so bold, I have found that Ingratitude and negative vibes sent out to the universe only return just that. It is incredibly difficult for us adoptees (for all the circumstances we deal with) to turn the table and "choose" to be grateful. But, though it has yet to bring me closure to my own search, I can honestly tell you that a change to gratefulness has made an incredible impact on my life as a whole.
The Law of Attraction basically states like attracts like. Mia and I have struggled with this based on the gratitude end....(we adoptees "should" be grateful....yeah, yeah....tell someone who really fuckin' gives a rats ass! LOL).....but, being the "bigger person" and stepping forward through the fears (which as I've learned are False Events Appearing Real) has brought a whole new outlook on life for me (and apparently now for Mia also).
Think of it this way, it very well could be our destiny's (we adoptees, that is) to be the stronger ones, the bolder ones, the courageous ones, the loving ones....for all others to learn from. Imagine what we could do as a collective group if we all jumped on board! It sure as hell would have to produce at least SOMETHING different than what we all currently experience.
namaste, my friend.
There's so many hurdles an adoptee faces in their quest for the truth! It can be quite frustrating, not being able to access such important information.
Being from Australia, I can't help you with any searching info, but I hope some good luck comes your way soon.
I think it is just wrong that CI's can't let something slip. Playing with an adoptee's life like this is simply wrong!!
I was lucky when I found my husband's birthparents... though it took a lot of research at the state library along with the use of the internet (this was in 1996, lot less info then there is now, but still it was helpful).
We have two sons that we adopted. I have both of their birthparents full information including their original birth certificates and bparent's SS#'s so they can search for them when they are ready. After dealing with the system for my husband's search, I refuse to have my kids forced by someone else's rules on engagement.
I really hope that you find the connection you are seeking. Hubby still has a relationship with his birthmom and a half brother on his birthfather's side.
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