Friday, May 18, 2007

Blessing or a curse?

So is it a blessing or a curse to be so "in-tune" with the world that surrounds you. I mean, I can peg nearly anyone in an unknown room as soon as I walk-in. WTF? Yet, the majority of people are not in-tune with even the people who you live with....I know we adoptees are more in-tune but I can't understand why others haven't a clue. Obviously, this is a personal experience that is influencing this rant (and some good bourbon).

And the worst part, is when I pick up the vibe, know it's valid and the person says, "nothin." Like I'm fuckin' nuts or something....well, news flash...I am...and I embrace it...and news flash...I was right about the vibe whether you want to admit it now or later.

And this in-tune-ness transcends distance....pick up the fuckin phone....

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Another disturbance in "The Force"

There's something wacked out there....I get this vibe and 9.999 times out of 10 I'm right. Maybe it's not "wacked" but something is happening. Maybe it's the Mother's Day thing that is approaching. Such weird feelings surrounding that day. I, of course, first think of my mom (for those of you who insist on differentiating between the 2....I'm referring to my mom...my a-mom...but for the record, I REALLY don't care for having to differentiate the 2...say what you want, but I just prefer to use the word Mom...and that's for both of them...hell, when we were in high school, my best friends Mike and Jamie and I used to tell everyone we had 3 moms). Mom is one of a kind...she is so supportive of me searching. How cool is that?

And then, of course, my wife is the mother of my 2 sons so I get together with them and celebrate Mother's Day. We typically cook breakfast for her and serve it in bed. The boys participate in cooking (and that's typically an experience).

If you're reading this (and I could only hope you are), I think of you too. How could I not? I know you're thinking of me too....even though it's so hard for me to understand why you won't just pick up the phone and break down the wall of fear....healing begins with truth. (Thanks, Mia.) Don't be afraid. My family will embrace you. My mom (and dad) are great people! You need to meet them! There's nothing to be afraid of. But I feel when you must be sending strong vibes or something...it rattles me but I now understand where that is coming from. I seem to be one of those persons that is "in tune" with the vibrations around us that few notice. It's a blessing and a curse. But I'll choose a blessing because it heightens my awareness.

I came upon a blog of a birthfather....it's fantastic! you MUST check it out...link at the side of this blog. I believe he's the beginning of that side of the movement and we are so fortunate to have him. Keep posting!

There's much in the works here.....Mia and I are progressing on our projects and ideas. The music video is stalled a bit partly due to everyone's busy schedule but also because I realized I needed to step back and do this how it NEEDS to be done....not on a cheap, zero budget but to find funding and do this song especially the way I know I can do it with the colleagues and resources I have. If you have any suggestions for sources of expendable capital....or venture capital...or just plain donations for the cause, lemme know.

I struggle to discuss what is going on. Maybe it's that judgement thing...maybe it's just I don't feel compelled to tell everyone. I love this Chinese Proverb: "The one who knows, tells no one. The one who knows nothing, tells everyone." (hmmm...reminds me of a certain musician that I've had recent issues with....what comes around, dude....)

Weird...I'm struggling to write. It's just not "flowing." ugh...that frustrates me. As an artist, this is when I know there's something there that is trying to get out but it's just not coming to the surface. Fortunately, I'll soon have a regular performing project going again. I've been jonesin' for the stage. Not for the applause....for the moment...it's my "everything is perfect in the world" place.

Guess I should just give in here and stop trying to write something that's not coming.

An early Happy Mothers Day to Mom and Mom.