I'm reading "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose" by Eckhart Tolle and I thought I might share a wonderful passage that I read this morning.
-- In Zen they say: "Don't seek the truth. Just cease to cherish opinions." What does that mean? Let go of identification with your mind. Who you are behind the mind then emerges by itself.--
This is rattling me to no end....and by what this book is conveying, that rattling is my ego holding on to what it knows and what it wants. As an adoptee, our search is a search for truth. But now, from reading this, I cannot help but ask my-self what I am to do now? The statement above makes sooooooooo much sense and I understand it logically. Yet then is my holding onto my desire for truth (my search) then holding me back from "BEING?" Is there a difference between a person (or a spirit) that knows their roots and a person who does not being able to just "be?" Can an adoptee that does not know their roots just "be?" Is it the ego (as this book so eloquently describes) then that is interfering and keeping us from having peace, joy and happiness? Or is this a primordial characteristic that we have?
This has honestly got me stuck.....I don't even know where to search for an answer! If I look within for the answer, if I listen, the answer remains that we adoptees must know before true peace is achieved at heart. So, the question remains.....is that the ego creating that condition? Is that the self-talk? The mind babble? What IS the answer? IS there an answer?
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3 comments:
As an adoptee myself...I CAN just "be"!
I've never really searched out my "identity" because I am who I am currently. Any other identity wouldn't be helpful. I like who I am...
Eric
Wow...didn't know that.
The more I've really looked at this I've come to realize that it's not an actual identity that I'm searching for...I, too, like who I currently am. Admittedly I've "thought" that I was searching for an identity but it was there all along. As I've considered this "being" concept, I'm noticing that I am becoming more of a witness and less of the one driven by the ego-labeled adoptee.
Though regardless of that witnessing, a core interest in receiving "knowledge of" still remains. And I'm aware of/witnessing that interest thus by definition it is NOT ego driven that I am searching. It is "I" that wants to know. That knowledge will not change "me" as "I AM" who I am....and I am choosing to search. "I AM" choosing....not "the adoptee."
--KT
I always felt that I loved the "parents" who brought me up so much, I didn't want to disrespect them by looking for someone else. And...if I found the birthparents, would I be an unwanted or an unexplainable intrusion on their current life?
I certainly don't hold any blame for my b/mother...her situation probably warranted giving me up...it couldn't have been easy.
But I was blessed to have been given a life with Dad and mom, who really loved me as their own..what more could I want?
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